I want to have your abortion
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
