Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
