It's Friday. Sex?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
