I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
