I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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