Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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