oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
