Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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