I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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