Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
