He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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