This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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