i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
