On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
