You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize