Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
