when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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