dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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