btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
