"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I think I won the penis lottery.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I will be naked everywhere
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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