just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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