After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
