He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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