I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
