We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Are we still banned from the library?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
he just fucked me for my cheese..
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
