wat bout pragnant strippers??
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
