The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
