sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
