I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
