"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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