i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
