Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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