I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Randomize
