Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
