So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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