I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
