Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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