So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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