that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
