it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
