I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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