the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
