Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
