What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
love makes seman taste better
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
