it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
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