hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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