Well apparently he's into motor boating.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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