I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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