i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
