I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
operation have a gay friend backfired
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
