flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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