I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
