yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize