Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
