Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
