we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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