I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
