fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
