remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
