So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
