I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
