ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
