Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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