you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
