just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
