Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
