Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
40s are totally the cure
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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