There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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