i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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