You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
