it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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